The Role of Women in a Growing Church

Every year, Forbes Magazine releases their list of, “The World’s 100 Most Powerful Women.” After all, secular society heartily embraces and harnesses the contribution that women make to organizations. Yet many churches are unsure if women should hold positions of authority, speak in the pulpit, or possess any kind of power.

In explanation, today’s females are employed as: congresswomen, senators, bank presidents, physicians, school superintendents, attorneys, mayors, and business owners, among other influential occupations. They have worked diligently to utilize their God-given gifts to become leaders in the community, but often we allow them little freedom to exercise these same gifts in our churches.

Despite this oversight, most congregations desire to grow. Or else, there would not be so many church growth experts writing books, surveying mega-churches, and espousing theories about how it’s done. Spiritual folks can harbor negative feelings about these studies thinking that it’s God’s job to increase the number of worshippers.

These skeptical believers tend to view words like “seeker friendly” and “church growth” as no better than aggressive marketing tools; forgetting that the goal of church growth is simply to reach the lost and hurting with the life-changing news of the Gospel, not to sell them a useless product.

Women are a vital part of this spiritual expansion. The Bible itself is filled with dynamic women of faith who did great exploits for their God. For example, the prophetess Deborah was a great leader who judged Israel (Judges). Phoebe was also a church leader (Romans 16). The Greek word describing Phoebe as a servant refers to her being a deaconess. Lydia was a business entrepreneur who was also a worshipper of God, (Acts 16) and Priscilla was a Bible teacher. (Acts 18: 24-26)

Like these Biblical heroines, my Christian journey has included countless ministry opportunities provided by supportive men and women of God. Yet not all my Christian sisters have been so fortunate. Since many churches still erroneously reject or greatly limit the contribution of women, citing a couple of out-of-context poorly exegeted Bible verses. In explanation, the Biblical history of the women who were told to remain silent within the church (I Cor.14:34) comprises unbridled, untaught women who lacked submission to their own husbands. Also, the church in Corinth was already struggling with disorderly worship.

As for not allowing a “woman” to teach, the Greek in I Timothy 2:11-15 refers not simply to the word, “woman,” but more specifically to the word, “wife.” Of course, women are never to domineer or exercise authority over their husbands, but this has little to do with teaching God’s Word, being a pastor, serving on a board, serving as a deaconess or elder, or fulfilling their ministry calling. True Biblical submission in a marital relationship is when a husband loves his wife so much that he will lead, enabling her to fulfill God’s destiny in her life. Whether that destiny entails being a housewife, pastor, or the president. Besides, the Bible tells us, “There is [now no distinction] neither Jew nor Greek, there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Gal. 3:28 Amp.

In his book, “Women: God’s Secret Weapon,” Ed Silvoso, founder and president of Harvest Evangelism asks, “Why are the spiritual gifts that are entrusted to women so often openly disqualified…?” Silvoso believes that denying women their rightful place in the church is spiritually abusive, contrasting their plight to that of a sexual abuse victim. Silvoso asserts that women who are victimized by sexual abuse receive compassionate support, while “women victimized by spiritual abuse are seen as rebellious, ambitious and non-feminine.” This area of abuse greatly concerns me because I fear it will not only wound women, but it will impede church growth.

Many females have worked diligently to gain both academic and Biblical education. Successful women in numerous occupations could provide incredible role models to fuel the vision of the younger women within the church. Clinging to patriarchal tradition by refusing to allow trained and gifted women to hold positions of leadership or to operate in their God-given gifts might result in a church losing them to another congregation. Even worse, frustration and discouragement could cause these valuable ladies to stop attending church altogether, which would be a momentous loss to the kingdom. After all, a growing church is not an institutional organization, but rather a living organism relying on each member to fulfill his or her God-given purpose.

Christina Ryan Claypool has appeared on national TV on Joyce Meyer Ministries and been featured on CBN’s 700 Club. Her latest book, “Secrets of the Pastor’s Wife: A Novel” is now available through all major online outlets. Contact Christina through her through her Website at www.christinaryanclaypool.com.

Please follow and like us:
error

“Suicide: All the Reasons Why Not” by Christina Ryan Claypool

“Why” is the question we are haunted by when someone we love takes their life.  Netflix picked up on this quandary and created the series, “13 Reasons Why,” about a teenage girl’s decision to complete suicide. She leaves her tragic story behind on cassette tapes implicating others for her fatal action. The teen drama was released on March 31, 2017, and has been renewed for its third season to air sometime later this year.

When this controversial show was originally broadcast, all kinds of folks weighed in. I didn’t. It was too close to home. I suppose I’m a reluctant expert, because in my youth I almost died by suicide. Still, it seems important to speak up now, because according to a recent Forbes article by Dr. Robert Glatter, “…[a] study from Nationwide Children’s Hospital noted that from 1999-2014 the suicide rate increased three fold among girls between the ages of 10-14.” In addition, “Suicide is the second most common cause of death in the U.S. among youths between the ages of 10-19….”

Within the faith community, Pastor Rick Warren, the well-known author of the New York Times #1 best-seller, “The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth am I Here For?” and his wife, Kay Warren, have stepped to the forefront in the battle for mental health awareness. Since, Matthew Warren, their 27-year-old son’s highly-publicized suicide six years ago, they have been champions for the cause raising awareness for those silently suffering with a mental health issue.

Despite their efforts, there are archaic beliefs that continue to abound within the church. For instance, condemning an already emotionally fragile person for not having enough faith to overcome a mental health issue. Some even claiming it’s a sin to allow yourself to plummet into a pit of despair, ignorantly comparing a clinically depressed state to a self-induced pity party.

If you’ve never struggled with any form of clinical depression, bipolar disorder, or even crushing anxiety, you probably don’t understand how an afflicted person can’t simply will themselves out of their hopeless mindset. Depression, which is often a precursor to suicide, is different than being sad, disappointed, or experiencing an occasional down day. Instead when depression accompanied by suicidal ideation is unrelenting and untreated, it’s rather like having terminal cancer and being in so much agony nothing alleviates the pain.

Sadly, www.mentalhealthamerica.net reports, “44,000 Americans die by suicide each year…[and] There is one death by suicide for every 25 attempts.” Addiction increases the risk, “Individuals with substance abuse disorders are six times more likely to complete suicide….”( www.verywellmind.com )

Since Netflix is preparing a third season of the graphic and exploitive “13 Reasons Why,” parents of teens should be alarmed, because some experts consider the program to be extremely harmful. It’s not only, “13 Reasons Why,” but reading books or viewing movies like, “Breathe” or “Me Before You,” which glamorize and promote physician-assisted suicide can influence individuals of any age to falsely decide a mental health/personal crisis can only be solved by terminating their existence.

If someone is contemplating suicide, I would like to offer you some reasons why not. Beginning with the fact, the people who love you will change, but not for the better. Most likely, they will never stop wondering what they could have done to make you stay. Those left behind will probably blame themselves and be filled with regrets. A counselor will shake his or her head sadly confirming no one is to blame, but deep inside many loved ones will continue to be tormented by “what might have been.” I know this firsthand, because I lost someone I loved more than my own life to suicide. Someone I would have gladly traded places with if only it worked that way, but it doesn’t. 

For those of us who are suicide survivors, defined as losing a loved one to suicide, there are never any good answers. Survivors grapple with the “Why?” question, until this internal wrestling exhausts us, and we reluctantly accept we will never know why. So, please don’t embrace the lie that you are a burden, and suicide will free those you love.  Instead you will create an agonizing pain for family and friends – a heartache so unbearable they could lose all hope for tomorrow. After all, statistics reveal those who lose a loved one to suicide can become vulnerable to taking their own life.

Stay alive for the people you care about, even in the midst of the depression and the darkness. Reach out and get the help you need, because with professional treatment you can recover. My life is a testimony that with God’s grace you can live one day at a time. You will see the light again. Hope will return and one day you will remember you are on this Earth for a purpose.                   

If you are contemplating taking your life call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or chat online at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. Whatever you do, don’t give up.

Christina Ryan Claypool is a national Amy and Ohio AP award-winning freelance journalist and inspirational speaker. She has been featured on Joyce Meyer Ministries Enjoying Everyday Life TV show and on CBN’s 700 Club. Learn more at www.christinaryanclaypool.com. Her latest book, “Secrets of the Pastor’s Wife: A Novel” is available on all major online outlets.

Please follow and like us:
error

Battling Addictions: There is Help!

Scotch & WaterWith headlines pointing to celebrities in and out of rehab clinics and many communities plagued with serious drug issues, we can forget that alcoholism remains a problem of great dimension. It is, “The most abused drug in our society,” said Cynthia Moore.

A lot of clients who are struggling with addictions including alcohol are referred to the Shelby County Counseling Center where Mrs. Moore is the Substance Abuse Clinical Supervisor. “…90 percent of our [addictions] client base are ordered by the court to be here, which means they have had an alcohol or drug related offense.” Getting help is often, “An alternative to jail or prison, if they successfully complete a program,” she said. Mrs. Moore has been in the business of helping folks overcome addictions since 1987. Yet the passion for the cause is still evident in her voice. Working in the field began as a college internship. “…I had some family members who struggled with alcohol addiction. I just thought…I’ll just try it. I never did anything else since. I love it,” she said.

It appears difficult to isolate alcohol abuse solely though, since many of the agency’s clients struggle with cross-addiction. “They may have another primary drug, heroin is huge right now, but always drinking in the interim,” said the addictions expert. “We see cross-addiction…where they are addicted to many substances.”

As for putting a face on the problem, the supervisor believes, “The reality is we are interacting with people who are functioning with addictions everyday. First, we must get to know individuals better, before we see their struggle.” Whether it is an employer or family member, “Sometimes they get angry, they don’t understand that drug addiction or alcoholism is a disease,” she said. “It’s important to separate the person from the disease.” Moore is emphatic in stressing the importance of recognizing that, “This is always a disease. You are going to see mood swings…[also] this disease causes people to break their value systems.”

How do we know when it’s time to seek help for someone we care about? “As theAlcoholics Anonymous disease progresses, the effect on those major life areas get bigger and bigger and easier to see,” said the supervisor. “What people don’t realize is that chemical dependency treatment is a cumulative process,” she said. “Many things throughout someone’s life have to accumulate before they are ready [to get help]. They might be job problems, health problems, legal problems, medical problems, spiritual problems, [ etc.]” Alcoholism is “cunning, baffling, and powerful,” said Moore, quoting from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. “Part of our treatment program is to introduce them to Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and Al-Anon. She asserts that it is, “Very important for an addicted person to find others who have walked that path and succeeded. They cannot fight addiction alone. They need others with them to help them deal with the thing that has become more powerful then themselves.”

As for church support groups like Celebrate Recovery, Cynthia Moore considers these to be, “Very helpful avenues, as well.” Although she admits that the drawback is that many individuals battling with substance abuse can also struggle with a lack of worthiness initially making seeking assistance from a religiously-affiliated source difficult for them. To be an advocate for someone fighting addiction, “We have to be aware of the resources in our community. In every county there is an agency that is dedicated to helping the addicted population,” said Moore. Agencies like Shelby County Counseling Center offer, “…support services to the family, as well the addict,” she said. The Center’s primary “funding stream comes from the Tri-County Board of Recovery and Mental Health Services. We have a sliding scale based on family size and income,” Moore explained. [Although] “…we never ever refuse anyone service based on ability to pay,” she added.

If you are wondering if you have a problem, or concerned that someone you love might, you “…can call and just talk to counselor,” said Moore. This doesn’t require an appointment, instead phone the center and ask, “Can I just talk to counselor for a moment?” Moore suggested. “Really, what it is about, if this is the time for them to be ready,” said the mental health professional.

Is it your time to get some help? It takes a lot more courage to pick up the phone, than to simply suffer in silence. Call the Board of Mental Health in your area and ask for a referral, visit a church recovery group, or attend an AA, NA, or Al-Anon meeting to learn more. Check your local newspaper’s community calendar for meeting places and times. There is hope for breaking free of addictions, but you have to take the first step. After all, the life you save may be your own.

Christina Ryan Claypool is an Amy Award winning journalist and inspirational speaker. This post is excerpted from a column which originally appeared in the Sidney Daily News on February 4, 2013.

Please follow and like us:
error

Celebrating Pastor Appreciation Month

Clergy Holding Bible “Clergy Appreciation Day “ is always the second Sunday in October” according to www.hallmark.com. This year, October 14, 2012, is the official date to honor pastors, priests, and ministers for their selfless commitment. Yet the entire month is dedicated to celebrating our clergy with this remembrance first being established in 1992. There’s even a Biblical reminder to honor those who care for our spiritual needs, “Appreciate your pastoral leaders who gave you the Word of God. Take a good look at the way they live, and let their faithfulness instruct you, as well as their truthfulness….”

Of course, pastors and their spouses aren’t perfect. But neither are any of us. However, they do have a special job, since the word pastor can be interchanged with the Old Testament title, “shepherd,” and congregants are analogous to sheep. An experienced farmer and Bible teacher once told me that sheep can be incredibly stupid animals, which need a shepherd to lead them. Apparently, if a sheep gets turned upside down in a ditch filled with shallow water, they’ll drown simply because they don’t know enough to turn over. Sheep can also be prey for an attacking predator. Due to their inability to protect themselves, they could be easily killed without a shepherd’s protection.

Therefore, “why” congregations celebrate Clergy Appreciation Month can be explained by the countless stories of pastors who have acted as a protector and a rescuer. Maybe, it was a midnight vigil at the bedside of an ill parishioner, walking alongside a family experiencing the loss of a loved one, or listening as a hurting couple tries to rekindle the smoldering embers of a broken marriage. However, needy congregants can forget that their busy minister often has a marriage of his or her own with flames that also need stoking.

It’s commendable that many pastors are willing to selflessly visit the sick in the hospital, offer endless hours of support to grieving people, or to respond to a church emergency when the phone rings unexpectedly at 3.a.m. However, these sacrificial tasks can result in their absence at the family dinner table or their children’s school or sports events. In addition, minister’s hectic schedules can necessitate their mates to shoulder the majority of the household responsibilities alone.

Rev. Jane Madden, president of Ohio’s Shelby County Ministerial Association agrees that those married to clergy sacrifice a great deal. “So often our spouses give up time with us, so we can do what God has called to do,” she said. Rev. Madden is the associate pastor of nurture and care at the SidneyFirstUnitedMethodistChurch.  She is also an organist there. The 69-year-old retired elementary music teacher went into the ministry as a second calling joining the Sidney First UMC staff in 2007.

As for concrete ways of showing clergy appreciation, Rev. Madden suggests, “Taking them out to lunch, [or if a congregant has] a cabin on the lake or something like that, they could offer that to the pastor and their spouse [for a getaway.] Gift certificates [for a meal out] would be good.”

She believes a simple card would be appreciated, too. “I know in this day and age everything is texting or email, but a handwritten note means so much more,” said Madden. She also suggests showing your caring by insisting that your clergy take time off, “If the congregation would make sure their pastor is taking a day off and having a Sabbath rest at some point during the week.”

According to Jane Madden not only in October, but all year long, “For myself and the other pastors that I have spoken to, the best thing the church people can do is to attend church and to get involved in the mission program in church, and be committed to their spiritual journey.”

Pastor David Clem of Ohio’s Spring Creek Christian Church shares her opinion, “The greatest gift any pastor can receive is to see members of their flock maturing in faith and actively engaged in doing the Lord’s work.”

Like Pastors Madden and Clem, most clergy and their mates are compassionate educated men and women who care deeply about those they oversee. During October, let’s especially remember to show gratitude to these individuals who give so much of their lives to minister to others.

Another way to do this is simply by praying, because the president of the Ministerial Association says that pastors would greatly appreciate this gift all year long. She explained, “Prayers lift us up and encourage us …just encouraging to know that people are praying for you as you are doing God’s work. 

Christina Ryan Claypool is an award winning journalist and inspirational speaker. Contact her through her Website at www.christinaryanclaypool.com. This column originally appeared in the Sidney Daily News on Oct. 6, 2012.

 

Please follow and like us:
error

The Controversial Case for Profanity

 

I  guess you could call me a recovering curser. Not one to appeal for a supernatural calamity type of evil curser. Rather the profane, get-your-mouth-washed-out-with-soap-by-your-mother when you were a kid kind. My late mom wouldn’t have approved when on July 13, 2012, the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals struck down the FCC policy permitting broadcasters to be fined for profanity on live TV finding the regulation unconstitutional. I’ll bet residents of Middleborough, Massachusetts, didn’t approve either. Early in June, they were so fed up with public profanity that they voted to impose a $20 fine on anyone ticketed for the offense. The violation appears to be limited to individuals swearing frequently and loudly. But it was protestors who made their voices heard loudly on June 26, 2012 by hosting a public protest against the pending statute. Reportedly, most of them weren’t even from the town of just over 22,000 residents which is located less than 40 miles from Boston.

For me, profanity is personal, because using colorful expletives became an entrenched habit early in life. Besides Mom’s Ivory soup, when I was only 19, the owner of the restaurant where I waited tables, reprimanded me for my foul mouth. Being an educated and successful businessman, I listened intently as he corrected me by saying, “Intelligent individuals know how to use their vocabulary to express their emotions without resorting to obscene words.”

But after finishing college while employed as a corporate representative for a large manufacturer, my supervisor seemed almost amused by my vulgarity. It was in the early eighties, and I was desperately trying to make it in what was then a man’s world. I used obscenity as a defensive weapon to balance my gender inequality, and to create an impression. Regrettably, I must have been creating the wrong impression, since I never moved up the corporate ladder. Let’s be honest are you awed by a female whose salty language could make the late comedian George Carlin blush?

Speaking of Carlin, I did walk out of one of his shows back then. He was doing his famous monologue where he lists one bad word after another, making people laugh hilariously. Yet for the first time in my life, I was enlightened to the fact that a lot of dirty words are simply references to female anatomy. Being a lifelong champion of women and being one myself, I couldn’t support degrading the very sex I had tried diligently to defend.

Yet it’s been decades since I let those four letter words fly freely. My endeavor to curb my wayward tongue started when I became a Christian believer almost 25 years ago. There were Scriptures that convinced me that spouting obscenities was probably not attractive as a Jesus follower. “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” James 3: 9 & 10 NIV

For those of you, who want to know how far you can go before it becomes sin, I think that Ephesians 4:29 in the New Living Translation is pretty clear, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” If that verse is not convincing enough, take a look at Colossians 3:8 NLV, “But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language.” The term, “dirty language” is referred to in the Bible’s King James Version as “filthy communication.”

According to The Preacher’s Files [preachersfiles.com], “In the Greek language, the phrase, ‘filthy communication’ means foul speaking, low and obscene speech.” More than two decades ago, in respect to my newfound faith, it took a concentrated effort requiring vigilance and time to liberate me from my potty mouth. For months, I bit my lower lip constantly to avoid swearing, shocked by how frequently I cussed like a sailor.

Fully rehabilitated, and moonlighting as a prerelease speaker at North Central Correctional Institution in Marion, Ohio, more than a decade ago, I was surprised when an educator negatively commented about my lack of expletives. Following my lecture, the public school principal said, “When ‘John Doe’ comes to speak, he uses the ‘F’ word, and the prisoners can relate.”

“I know the ‘F’ Word,” I said with sarcasm. “But I don’t use it, because I thought we were trying to teach the inmates to aspire to a better life.” Inwardly, I was disappointed that someone trained to instruct others, thought we should incorporate their bad habits into our delivery to communicate more effectively. Besides, everyone knew that “John Doe” was paid thousands for his speeches, while I barely made three figures.

Recently, I’ve noticed that even clergy sometimes seem to think it makes them appear more relevant if they throw in a few four letter words occasionally. Of course, I don’t think most folks in ministry would venture into the “F” bomb terrain, but apparently a British priest did. I read the account of a vicar in northern England who used the infamous word on his Facebook page. The Church Report shared the story on May 25, 2012, “Priest Apologizes for Unholy Language on Facebook.” Seriously, Father, what were you thinking?

As a transformed gutter-mouth girl, I’ve been on both sides of this argument. Only one expletive away from a relapse, I’m biting my bottom lip again, but this time it’s over the outcome of Middleborough’s ban. This new ordinance is under scrutiny from the American Civil Liberties Union as a possible violation of the First Amendment regarding freedom of speech. The ordinance also had to be filed with the Massachusetts attorney general’s office by July 11, 2012, and then there would be a possible 90 day review period to review the bylaw’s constitutionality.

Interestingly though, the ordinance actually decriminalizes public profanity which has been an illegal, but rarely enforced offense in Middleborough since 1968. The recent demise of the FCC policy probably sets a precedent that the First Amendment protects people’s right to cuss up a storm. But how about a little common courtesy in public? Maybe we could designate a “foul language only” section in community settings and eateries. Although if my former boss was still around, I’ll bet he might have a little chat with patrons about their deficient vocabulary, if he caught them swearing in his restaurant.

Christina Ryan Claypool is an award winning freelance journalist, inspirational speaker, and author of the book, Seeds of Hope for Survivors. Contact her through her Website at www.christinaryanclaypool.com.

Please follow and like us:
error