June might be\u00a0the\u00a0traditional month for weddings, but all year long\u00a0beautiful brides in flowing white gowns and handsome grooms in black tuxedos promise to be together, \u201cUntil death do us part.\u201d \u00a0Sadly, if we look at the grim statistics, many of these marriages are destined for divorce courts.<\/p>\n
Defying the odds, are Dave and Arlene Gates\u00a0who\u00a0celebrated their 46th<\/sup> wedding anniversary on July 2, 2012.\u00a0 Arlene encourages others to begin their marriage with the conviction, \u201cthat this is a lifetime commitment.\u201d The retired teacher has heard people say they never have arguments, but she believes that, \u201cIn most relationships there are disagreements\u2026. When we disagree\u2026we normally keep the issue on the disagreement and don\u2019t dredge up accusations and hurtful things just for the sake of retaliating.\u201d<\/p>\n Dave who is in his late sixties, was also a teacher, assistant principal, and head\u00a0football coach both at Graham and Sidney High Schools. As for disagreeing, he remembers the uncertainty that a difference of opinion can create early in a marriage. \u201cWhen you\u2019ve been married awhile you have the benefit of looking back and saying, \u2018We\u2019ve been there before.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Dave stresses that marital battles are not about winning or losing. \u201cThere\u2019s no score board in a marriage,\u201d he said. His advice to couples starting out is to take accountability for their actions by recognizing, \u201cWhat part of this disagreement am I responsible for, and what can I do to see it doesn\u2019t happen again?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSometimes, we agree to disagree,\u201d Arlene admitted. But don\u2019t let a disagreement cause you to imagine that, \u201cWe are not suited for each other, [or that] we can\u2019t make this work,\u201d she said. Rather know, \u201cThis too will pass.\u201d They attend the First Baptist Church. \u201c\u2026The same faith is a real grounding in sharing what\u2019s important\u2026you are accountable to God even if nobody else knows what\u2019s going on,\u201d said Mrs. Gates.<\/p>\n In a long-term marriage, Arlene mentioned the importance of keeping the \u201cromance and love\u201d alive.\u201d The Gates are also concerned about the lack of positive role models for young people faulting today\u2019s media and celebrities for portraying a skewed picture of reality.<\/p>\n Mary Kathryn Mescher of Fort Loramie would say her role models were her own family. She and 74-year-old husband, James who is retired from Midmark Corporation, celebrated their 50th<\/sup> wedding anniversary this past June.<\/p>\n Although the 71-year-old wife never received any specific advice from her parents, their example of a fifty-plus-year marriage was a living testimony. \u201cWe were just brought up when you got married you were married. You sort of follow in their footsteps\u2026how they lived. My husband\u2019s father and mother were married 65 years, and I guess that\u2019s what we are shooting for,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s a lot of difference now days between the kids and us. They have jobs and can make it on their own,\u201d explained Mrs. Mescher. \u201cWe were home with our children. We quit working. We relied [on our spouses] to bring the money in\u2026.It was a kind of partnership,\u201d she explained of the cultural shift with women working outside the home.<\/p>\n Her advice to couples just beginning their journey is, \u201cIt\u2019s a lot of give and take.\u201d For folks experiencing difficult times, \u201cHang in there, tomorrows going to be better,\u201d encouraged the retired St. Michael\u2019s church employee. As for motivation, \u201cYou live for your kids and grandkids.\u201d<\/p>\n Sharing happenings about her children and grandchildren is one experience that Sue Britton misses greatly. \u201cIt\u2019s lonely being alone\u2026 There isn\u2019t a day that goes by that I don\u2019t say, \u2018Wait until Bill hears this,\u201d said the 78-year-old widow. Sue and her late spouse, Bill Britton were both battling cancer at the same time three years ago.\u00a0She survived her bout with ovarian cancer, but tragically Bill succumbed to lung cancer three years ago this past May.<\/p>\n Married in 1955, the couple shared almost 55 wonderful years together. \u201cMy father always told me to marry a man who is good to his mother\u2026and Bill was.\u201d Sue is grateful she followed her dad\u2019s wise advice. The couple raised three children together with Sue spending \u201cninety percent of her married life as a housewife.\u201d Her suggestion for a good marriage is to, \u201cJust trust each other\u2026in every way.\u201d If there are, \u201cany reservations, don\u2019t marry them,\u201d she warned.<\/p>\n Sue\u2019s life seems full with family, friends, and restored health. Yet the outgoing widow said, \u201cI would give anything for just five more minutes\u201d with her husband. \u201cBecause I just had so much to tell him that I never told him. It\u2019s\u2026companionship you miss the most\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n In closing from the road less traveled, if you have some things to tell someone you love, why not do it today. After all, they might not be here tomorrow to listen.<\/p>\n Christina Ryan Claypool is an Amy Award winning freelance journalist.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n *<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" June might be\u00a0the\u00a0traditional month for weddings, but all year long\u00a0beautiful brides in flowing white gowns and handsome grooms in black tuxedos promise to be together, \u201cUntil death do us part.\u201d \u00a0Sadly, if we look at the grim statistics, many of … Continue reading