Words are a powerful tool. Some folks never learn just how powerful they are. Rather, by not guarding what they say, they spend their lives wreaking emotional havoc wherever they go. In explanation, loving words can heal a broken bond, while hurtful remarks could destroy a relationship forever. The importance of governing words is sometimes lost on those who grow up in dysfunction, like I did. We can become misguided individuals believing that as long as we aren\u2019t physically abusing anyone, screaming, or cursing; that verbal attacks are acceptable.<\/p>\n
What happened behind closed doors when we were children, is often not an acceptable role model for healthy communication. No matter our age, and regardless of how painful our past has been, it\u2019s wrong to think that God allows His children to wound others. West central Ohio\u2019s Pastor Randy Bargerstock shared this poignant truth in a message once. He said that there is a lie that some people believe that when they have been hurt, this gives them the right to hurt others.<\/p>\n
The Bible contradicts this falsehood, \u201cThe good man from his inner good treasure flings forth good things, and the evil man out of his inner evil storehouse flings forth evil things. But I tell you, on the Day of Judgment men will have to give account for every idle (inoperative, non-working) word they speak. For by your words you will be justified and acquitted, [or]\u2026you will be condemned and sentenced.\u201d Matthew 12:35-37<\/p>\n
Not only will we be called to account for our words, but the kind of life that we live today is dependent on healthy communication. After all, Proverbs 18:21 says, \u201cDeath and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].\u201d\u00a0In explanation, unchecked anger, lack of forgiveness, or bitterness, can drive us to say cruel things to others. In Matthew 12:34 we are told that, \u201c\u2026For out of the fullness (the overflow, the superabundance) of the heart the mouth speaks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf we permit wrong thoughts [or motives] to dwell in our hearts, we will ultimately speak them. Whatever is hidden in our hearts will sooner or later be expressed openly through our mouths,\u201d cautions Evangelist Joyce Meyer.<\/p>\n
Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages <\/em>also believes that words have great impact. He even identifies, \u201cWords of Affirmation,\u201d as a basic love language for some individuals. \u201cOne way to express love emotionally is to use words that build up,\u201d explains the bestselling writer. \u201cVerbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love,\u201d adds Chapman.<\/p>\n However, sometimes relationships, and especially marriages, fall into a vicious cycle where partners exchange criticisms and complaints, instead of encouraging words. When a relationship reaches this point, author and speaker, Nancy Leigh DeMoss suggests fasting critical comments for 30 days to break the destructive pattern.<\/p>\n Because\u00a0a man\u2019s greatest need in relationship is respect, the harm of disrespectful words can cause great division. Since a woman\u2019s primary need is for love, she will also begin to have damaged emotions from constant verbal criticism.<\/p>\n Biblical writer, James understood the power of words. \u201cBut the human tongue can be tamed by no man. It is a restless\u2026evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who were made in God\u2019s likeness! Out of the same mouth come forth blessing and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to be so.\u201d James 3:8-10<\/p>\n We can’t tame our own tongues, but God can. After all, most of us realize that domestic violence is never acceptable often forgetting that verbal battering is another form of abuse. Therefore, ask the Holy Spirit to guard your mouth during disagreements. In addition, realize that you don\u2019t have to raise your voice to be abusive. Rather a demeaning tone or the viciousness of accusatory words can break a loved one\u2019s heart. I will honestly admit that I\u2019m writing this, because controlling my words has been one of my greatest life struggles.<\/p>\n If you are like me, and you do feel yourself losing control, walk away from the situation, until you are able to deal with the confrontation more calmly. Also, apologize to those you have wounded in the past, assuring them that you are working on communicating more appropriately. Pray for wisdom, requesting God\u2019s help in changing destructive verbal behavior. \u201cBut the wisdom from above is first of all pure; then it is peace loving, courteous, (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits\u2026\u201d James 3:17<\/p>\n If you have read all of the above, then please watch this incredibly insightful, but\u00a0very short\u00a0video that millions of viewers have seen on YouTube. You will be amazed at how we\u00a0say, what we say, affects our lives. http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Hzgzim5m7oU<\/a><\/p>\n Christina Ryan Claypool is\u00a0a\u00a01st place Amy Award winning freelance journalist and Christian speaker. She is the author of the book, Seeds of Hope for Survivors.\u00a0<\/em>Contact her through her Website at www.christinaryanclaypool.com<\/a> <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Words are a powerful tool. Some folks never learn just how powerful they are. Rather, by not guarding what they say, they spend their lives wreaking emotional havoc wherever they go. In explanation, loving words can heal a broken bond, … Continue reading