The Reality “Ask the Pastor” Show

Living in this chaotic world, if we’re honest, we have to admit that we all have problems. “Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job.” (I Peter 4:12 The Message Bible) God’s always at work. However, it’s important to remember the famous public service announcement from the Emergency Broadcast System, “This is a test. This is only a test….” but we also need wisdom concerning what we should do in the midst of our tests.

Personally, I learned a lot about asking for advice during the years that I worked as a producer and reporter at WTLW TV 44 in west central Ohio. At the time, I occasionally assisted producing or hosting the Ask the Pastor TV program. Folks would call in to pose questions about theological issues, but more frequently they were trying to find solutions to their daily dilemmas including: financial problems, addiction, grief, loneliness, etc. by seeking the expert spiritual opinions from the panel of local pastors.

Asking for counsel takes humility, because we have to admit that we don’t have all the answers. There has to be an answer though, because Jesus himself said, “…In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” John 16:33

Besides, clergy are very busy people, they can’t be expected to be on 24 hour call concerning our need for counsel. Although the Bible says, “Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.” (Proverbs 11:14) Of course, the ultimate book of wisdom is the Bible, and it’s where we should look first. Often though, we require someone with some skin on to enable us to understand God’s Word about our situation.

That’s why I would like to introduce the concept of the reality Ask the Pastor Show. We can all be part of it, by seeking advice from the “wise” folks God places in our lives. It’s important to emphasize the word, “wise,” because we should seek counsel from confidential individuals who have been successful in the area that we are struggling with.

The bottom line is; if your marriage is in trouble, seek guidance from somebody of the same sex who has a healthy marital relationship. If your teen is on drugs, find a former addict who has become a productive member of society, and ask them how they broke free from addiction. Or if your business is in the red, talk with a successful entrepreneur.

The professional arena has long instituted the policy of mentoring relationships. For example, in the academic world it is standard practice for a new public schools superintendent to be assigned a mentor. My husband, Larry Claypool feels he hit the administrative jackpot in his early days as a superintendent when he was assigned an adviser who had years of educational experience.

Whenever an urgent situation occurred, placing my spouse on uncharted territory back then, he asked his mentor for advice. “Even when you have a decision already made, you call. Just to make sure it was the right decision,” Larry said. “It’s just like being a disciple, because a seasoned teacher imparts his knowledge for the good of someone else,” added my spouse who is now an experienced public schools superintendent himself who takes time to counsel young administrators.

Jesus knew all about mentoring people. He had his hands full with his own motley crew of followers. He had to teach Peter to control his temper, Thomas not to doubt, and James and John to quit seeking positions of honor, among other issues.

I once heard Kenton, Ohio’s New Hope Fellowship pastor, Jason Manns, say that he believes, “God usually places individuals in our lives that He uses to disciple us in our Christian walk.” I agree, but we have to be cautious, that we don’t miss God’s voice through those close to us.

Familiarity can stop us from receiving what we need to hear. We discount the message, knowing firsthand folks in our inner circle are flawed human beings like ourselves. That’s why James 1:19 tells us, that “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” Of course, we do have to guard ourselves from ungodly counsel, because. “…Bad company ruins good manners.”  (I Corinthians 15:33)

But if someone is a faithful believer, who wants God’s best for us, we should be willing to listen. If their counsel doesn’t line up with what you think your Heavenly Father is saying, put it on the shelf for awhile. Allow God to bring His perfect will to pass. Most importantly in the Book of Proverbs we are told to, “Trust God from the bottom of your heart;…listen for God’s voice in everything you do…He’s the one who will keep you on track.”

Christina Ryan Claypool is an Amy Award winning journalist and evangelistic speaker. “Seeds of Hope for Survivors” is available through her Website at www.christinaryanclaypool.com or through www.amazon.com .   

God Can Heal a Cutter’s Cry for Help

“There is no new thing under the sun,” records the Book of Ecclesiastes. So, it is with cutting, a little talked-about self-injurious behavior. “Self-injury is the act of deliberately harming your own body, such as cutting…[it] is an unhealthy effort to cope with negative emotions..” according to the http://www.mayoclinic.com.

How should believers equip themselves to address this growing problem? To explain, “Millions of teens are involved in self-destructive behavior,” according to a March 2007 article by Susie Shellenberger in Focus on the Family Magazine. Some experts estimate that about 75% of self-mutilators are female, but males cut, too. Sadly this behavior hits closer to home than we would like to admit. At church services and Christian ladies meeting where I speak, there is sometimes a mom asking prayer for a daughter who cuts, or a friend worried about a teenage friend who cuts. Infrequently a cutter herself will ask me to pray for her. Of course, she doesn’t reveal she cuts, she just cries and hangs her head and wears long sleeves regardless of the temperature. However, I recognize her, because my own left arm bears the scars from once raw razor blade slashes made four decades ago as a hopeless teenager. “People who hurt themselves are denying the truth that they are God’s handiwork. They believe they’re useless; they feel they have no significance because someone has used or disregarded them. They’re unaware of the greater purpose God has for them,” writes Focus on the Family’s Shellenberger.

Besides, when you are hurting traumatically on the inside, whether from past abuse or perfectionism, it can seem your only release from the emotional pain is to hurt yourself on the outside. Research has even indicated that the chemicals released during cutting have an analgesic property temporarily giving the victim a feeling of calm. Cutting is mentioned several times in the Old Testament. For example, Leviticus 19:28 says, “You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead.” In his Explanatory notes, theologian John Wesley writes, “Cuttings in your flesh – which the Gentiles did both in the worship of their idols, and in their solemn mournings.” While, Deuteronomy 14:1 states, “You are the sons of God you shall not cut yourselves…” Apparently, thousands of years ago, God didn’t want his children to cut themselves anymore, than He does today. Yet Jesus once said, “They that are whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.” [Luke 5:31] Jesus didn’t come to condemn the world, rather to save the world, and sometimes we must be saved from ourselves.

Coping techniques, like cutting and other self destructive behaviors including eating disorders and drug and alcohol abuse can eventually become deadly addictions. God can free people miraculously when we pray, but He normatively uses a gradual pathway of freedom from habitual/addictive behaviors. For example, Dr. Thomas Holmes of Covenant Ministry Services, a Christian Counseling Center in Lima, Ohio, suggests that those addicted to self injury wear rubber bands on their wrists. When the temptation to cut [or to engage in another self-destructive behavior] becomes intense, Dr. Holmes suggests simply snapping the rubber band. Although, this will temporarily create a minimal amount of pain, it will also cause the person tempted to regain control. Combining this technique with Christian counseling, and praying for God’s intervention, along with accountability to a spiritual mentor can be helpful in battling self-injurious behaviors.

A valuable Website for information and support about self-destructive issues, along with depression and suicide can be found at http://www.twloha.com. [To Write Love on Her Arms]  The physical scars are only a reminder of the deeper emotional pain that troubled teen is battling. If you or someone you love is self-injuring, remember there is hope in the God who can do anything but fail. But you have to take the first step, and be honest about needing His help.

Christina Ryan Claypool is a freelance journalist and evangelistic speaker who is the author of the book, Seeds of Hope for Survivors. Contact her through her Website at http://www.christinaryanclaypool.com