Broken resolutions and Life Lessons for 2017

The holidays are over, and life is back to normal. For those of you who made New Year’s resolutions, maybe you’ve already broken some of them. I’m not saying this to criticize. At the beginning of January in decades past, making a resolution then breaking it a short time later often caused me some discouragement.

The website, www.timeanddate.com reports, “…according to some studies almost 80 percent of all people who make New Year’s resolutions abandon them sometime during the year.” That’s why, a couple of holidays ago, I made a resolution not to make any more resolutions. Instead, when I need to change something in my life, I try to work on it right away.

This philosophy is coming straight from the keyboard of a former procrastinator. After all, one of the most noteworthy lessons I’ve learned along life’s path is that important tasks that we put off, rarely get done. It’s best to tackle an issue as soon as possible to make sure that it doesn’t get lost in the whirlwind of everyday living. This anti-procrastination principle is more significant than some other beliefs that are part of my life repertoire. For example, I’ve also come to believe that a person should never buy a single pair of socks or gloves. The law of probability ensures that when socks are placed in the dryer, frequently they will disappear into what I refer to as Sock Heaven. Solo socks take this mysterious journey into the unknown never to be seen from again.

This theory holds true when purchasing gloves, too, although I doubt there is a metaphorical heaven for missing mittens. Instead my lost gloves are probably strewn throughout Ohio left in restaurant booths or on roadways. Missing gloves aren’t too high on the life lesson priority list, but keeping in touch with family and friends is crucial. In our hectic-paced world, social isolation becomes a daily challenge.

This means taking time to share more than an occasional Facebook “Love you” post, text, or hurried email. Instead chatting with a true friend or loved one over a meal can be exhilarating. Don’t take your cellphone along, as the constant distraction will frustrate the flow of genuine conversation. When we are with folks who truly care for us, we somehow remember who we really are. The pieces of our life fit better, and we can bask in the camaraderie that comes only from authentic relationships, where we are accepted imperfections and all. Still, getting together can be especially tricky in this geographically mobile society where families and close friends are often separated by countless miles for employment opportunities.

Although speaking of not being perfect, another painful lesson that I’ve learned from life is that people won’t always like you. This can be a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s true. No matter how hard you try, you fall short in their acceptable category. According to clinical psychologist, Dr. Ben Michaelis about 15 percent of folks won’t like you, if you are emotionally healthy. “If 85 percent of the people you meet like you, you are probably doing something right,” writes Michaelis in an archived  Huffington Post blog, “If everybody likes you, you are doing it wrong….you are probably doing too much to get along.”

The experienced psychologist says that when, “You ignore your own needs in favor of others,” it’s not healthy. Of course, they like you, everybody likes a doormat. Unfortunately, a doormat gets worn out and has to be thrown away after too much use. Yet, if more than 15 percent of people don’t like you, you might actually be too difficult to get along with.

Lastly, there is a life lesson that involves “letting go.” It can be a spiritual breakthrough forged in prayer. Or an internal follow your heart and instincts moment that allows a person to sense when it’s time to cut your losses and venture out on a new path. It might be something as substantial as a job change or having the courage to end an emotionally destructive relationship. To let go and embrace change willingly is a challenging life lesson, because by nature most human beings are creatures of habit who hang onto familiar circumstances.

So, for the first month of this New Year, I didn’t make or break any resolutions. Yet, I did celebrate another year of new beginnings, counting my blessings, and reminiscing about all the lessons learned on life’s path.

Christina Ryan Claypool is a freelance journalist and inspirational speaker. Contact her through her website at www.christinaryanclaypool.com

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YMCA Fitness Trainer Triumphs over Tragedy

         DSCF1746 Some folks will probably make a New Year’s resolution about fitness, and many will end up breaking it. That’s why Calvin Cooley doesn’t believe in them. The YMCA certified personal trainer who is also a paraplegic, feels that, “New Year’s resolutions are very ineffective, because people will make a resolution to get into shape, but if it doesn’t happen three months ago, they give up.” Due to his own disability, Cooley, 44, knows firsthand how challenging maintaining a fitness program can be. He has been lifting weights for more than twenty years believing that fitness is a lifelong commitment.

Calvin first moved to rural Shelby County from Columbus when he was only eight. His inspirational story begins on August 10, 1988, when the then 19-year-old was riding his motorcycle. “I went into a corner too fast and got into the gravel and overcorrected.”

Cooley ended up in a field, but first he, “Clipped a fence post, and hit my back….that’s what caused my spinal cord injury,” he said. He was careflighted to Miami Valley Hospital and spent the next three months recuperating there. He soon realized that he would never walk again.

Today, the dark-haired Cooley is one of those consistent people you can count on to see the bright side in every situation. He works with individuals of all ages and fitness levels in his job as a personal trainer at the Sidney Shelby County YMCA.

“But, back then I was up and down emotionally. I had a very brief [suicidal] thought,” he recalled, “It was so brief it almost didn’t count, I just felt if I would do something so selfish as suicide…I would have cheated my family and friends out of an opportunity to spend time together.”

While he was at Miami Valley Hospital he received a visit from another paraplegic named Timothy Witten. Cooley had never met the West Milton man before. Witten had been injured in an automobile accident the year prior, and his visit was a great encouragement.

Calvin had been diagnosed with a T4 spinal cord injury being paralyzed from the nipple line down, and needed to learn how to live as a paraplegic. “It requires a tremendous amount of discipline to take care of yourself,” he said. There was also the emotional component to deal with.

“In May of 1989 I woke up one day very depressed, it was a beautiful day out…” Cooley asked himself, “Why should I continue to feel this way? I changed everything. I made a choice not to be depressed.”

Part of his path of overcoming occurred in 1991 when he began lifting weights with his friend, the late Karl Jonas. Normally, the two enjoyed playing Frisbee in Sidney’s Tawawa Park together, but that day Jonas invited Calvin to his gym.

Then another buddy, Dwight Meyer gave him his first membership to the now defunct Pump-You-Up Gym. Lee Sprague served as his original trainer and mentor. “My goal was to be able to get from the floor into the wheelchair in case I should fall,” explained Cooley. It remains an important goal, and “the most difficult thing for me to do.”

Calvin not only lifted weights but he also gained experience as an employee at a couple local gyms including Sidney’s Power Station Fitness. Then in 2002, He started going to the Sidney Shelby County YMCA. The YMCA blessed him with a membership, and Calvin felt one way of paying them back was to assist members using his weight lifting expertise. He was also volunteering in the fitness center training youth.

Before long, he was hired by the Y, but obtaining his personal trainer certification wasn’t as easy. The tenacious Cooley even visited the YMCA USA national headquarters in Chicago to convince the organization of his ability, since they had never certified a paraplegic to be a trainer before.

On October 4, 2004, history was made when Calvin Franklin Cooley became the first personal trainer to receive the YMCA USA certification. Besides, helping YMCA members with their fitness programs, once a month you will find Calvin attending a support group of Spinal Cord Injury survivors at Dodd Hall/ OSU Medical Center in Columbus.

Just like his friend, Tim Witten who once came to offer support and answer his questions about life as a paraplegic, Cooley attends meetings primarily to assist others.  He tries to, “Pay it forward.”

One would have to look pretty far to find anybody more inspirational than this bigger than life fitness trainer who has definitely triumphed over tragedy along his own road less traveled. Until next time, for all of you who made fitness resolutions, keep pumping that iron.

Christina Ryan Claypool is a freelance journalist and inspirational speaker. Contact her through her Website at www.christinaryanclaypool.com. The article first appeared in the Sidney Daily News.

 

 

 

 

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